


Chaos

by Zekora



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Explicit Language, Gen, Hemospectrum Racism, Major Character Injury, Mental Instability, Non-Sexual Submission, POV First Person, Quadrant Confusion, TW:, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-25
Updated: 2013-01-25
Packaged: 2017-11-26 19:42:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/653745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zekora/pseuds/Zekora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gamzee Makara finds himself struggling to keep from committing the murders his mind wants him to commit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Don't expect a happy ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chaos

Indigo drips down my face, running onto my cheek, smearing the white paint. The club in my hand drips not rainbows, but brackish sludge down over my knuckles. My heart pounds in my chest; the air smells like blood.  
Staring down at the body of my friend, I wonder _'Would he have been my matesprit?'_  
**MOVE ON, GAMZEE.**  
_Not this again. Please. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore._  
Ever since the slime ran out, when I stopped being able to make my miracles, it's been like this. I don't remember half of what happened.  
I'm scared. Best friend says that I've gone crazy. I don't know.  
Maybe I have…  
There's blood on my hands, my makeup is smeared down my face; I can taste the paint. I can taste the blood. His blood. Tavbro's blood. My stomach churns, knotting like a wriggler, and I rush to the edge of the chasm and everything comes flooding up.  
"Fuck." I wipe my hand over my mouth; blood smears across my lips and I lose it again.  
**GO.**  
_Please, don't make me do this. Please!_  
**GO!**  
The world tilts under the pressure of the voice, and I have to obey. My legs move without my consent, and I find myself walking past Tavros's body and deep into the halls of Alternia. 

**THERE! climb up and wait. HE WILL BE HERE SOON, GAMZEE.**  
I am pulled up atop the jar. I want to throw away this bow. The grip is stained with blood from my hands, Tavros's blood. Against my will, I painted on the wall in his blood. My best bro's blood, writing sick messages on the metal walls. 'Are you next?'  
I want to jump down, go back to Tavbro's body. I wonder if I can still wake him up… It would only take a kiss.  
**NO! you have to focus, gamzee. FOCUS ON WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE. as a descendant of the high subjuggalators, that rustblood is far beneath you.**  
I want to claw my brain out of my skull. Maybe it would make this all stop.  
**FOCUS, GAMZEE.**  
Images blur in my head. Blood on the ground, bodies haphazardly piled, rainbows dripping from their veins, bones ground fine to special stardust, and my hands, painting endless rainbows of blood across the world.  
I am trying to shake these images aside when I hear footsteps. Heavy footsteps, way too loud to be best friend's. Glancing up, I see the strong guy. Equius? Yeah, that's his name. Equius.  
**PEASANTBLOOD!**  
Equius looks up at me, sees the glasses I took; the light glints off of the red lenses, but not enough to illuminate me, and assumes that I'm the blind girl. Terezi? Yeah.  
"Ah," he says, "It's you, Pyrope. Have you seen the Highblood about?" He pauses, as if recalling that blind girl is blind. "Pardon; smelled."  
I start to respond that he should run, get away before I lose control, but my voice clots in my throat, and another voice grates out.  
"heh heh. **CHECK IT THE MOTHERFUCK OUT.** it's the peasantblood. **HEH HEH.** fuckin' heh."  
His voice is confused, but sharp. "Peasantblood? Is that a joke?"  
"if your blood. **IS A RUNNING MOTHERFUCKING GAG.** soon it will be running. **THROUGH MY MOTHERFUCKING FINGERS.** "  
A tiny gasp comes from Equius's mouth, so soft I barely hear it. "Your profanity is sickening. You'll stop."  
Rage spikes through my mind, and the images of crushed bones and heaped bodies searing into my retinas. Everything is tinged with blue, the color of his blood. I try to shove these images aside, but I can't. They're too strong.  
"you'll **KNEEL.** "  
Understanding dawns on his face.  
"You are not Pyrope. You are the Highblood; I should have known. Remove your counterfeit eyewear at once." His voice shakes. "Uh. If you please, sir."  
**WEAK, SICK PEASANTBLOOD! get rid of him; kill him.**  
" **I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT I MOTHERFUCKING GOT.** if you show me what's motherfucking yours." My hands slide the glasses off, as the words echo around the room, the first sentence screamed and the next barely audible.  
"What?" He asks.  
" **IT WAS.** a motherfucking. **JOKE.** honk."  
I see him struggling to say something, anything to soothe me.  
"We really should talk."  
I can see the sweat beading at his temples, running down his neck. He's afraid to slip up.  
"you really should kneel." It's a whisper.  
"What was that? The volume of your voice keeps fluctuating…" He sounds afraid now.  
" **I SAID.** kneel motherfucker."  
He still cannot hear me. Desperately, I try to call out for him to run; I can feel my control slipping. He has only seconds before…  
" **I TOLD YOU TO MOTHERFUCKING KNEEL MOTHERFUCKER!** "  
It's too late. I scream on the inside, feeling my legs move, standing my body up, and my hands pull the bowstrings tight.  
_**EQUIUS, RUN!** _I scream on the inside, but no sound comes from my lips other than a hiss of my breath, steadying my aim as my hands let the arrow fly. Straight and true, it buries deep in his knee, blowing it out, and Equius drops down. The sick part inside of me croons in happiness.__  
**SEE, GAMZEE? the peasantblood is where he belongs now. BENEATH US.**  
_No. You're wrong! It doesn't matter anymore._ Angry discord tears me apart inside, one half of myself, the real me, screaming that it doesn't matter, while the other side beats that part into surrender.  
**GO.**  
_Don't make me do this!_  
My body leaps down without my consent, landing, bow in hand, just a few short steps in front of the bleeding troll. My body moves forward, standing just in front of him. My mouth laughs, but I am screaming inside.  
Equius's eyes are wide in agony and fear.  
My hands take the bow, begin bending it in the wrong direction. There is a snapping sound, and the bow is in two pieces in my hands, the cord stretched between the two ends like a garrote wire.  
_**PLEASE! NO!**_  
My hands wrap the wire around his neck, cross it, and pull tight. Tighter. Until the troll's face is flushed blue with his own blood.  
_**NO! NO! NO! PLEASE!**_  
My hands pull even tighter, until a warped smile blooms across Equius's face, and then he dies. The bow drops from my fingers, sliding on the ground with a raspy clatter.  
_**NONONONONONONONO! FUCK! NONONO!**_  
**THERE, GAMZEE. now, paint. COLOR YOUR RAINBOWS TO SHOW THE OTHER LOWBLOODS WHERE THEY BELONG.**

A grinding thud echoes behind me, and I turn, seeing the cat girl leaping from a grate, blue claws I'd never seen before extended toward my face. She hisses loudly, and I realize that it was her moirail that my body just asphyxiated without my consent.  
The cat girl, Nepeta, lunges at me, and my hand shoots out and catches her wrist, snapping it, then drags her claws across my face, leaving deep indigo gashes from one side of my face to the other. Blood runs into my smiling mouth.  
Inside, I scream in pain, and gag on my own blood.  
Outside, my eyes watch her fall.  
Inside, I close my eyes and cry.  
Outside, I lift my club.  
Inside, I pretend I don't exist.  
Outside, I paint another color on my rainbow. 

**Author's Note:**

> My first piece posted to archive, so if it's missing tags, you find spelling or grammar errors, or you think I could do something better, feel free to let me know!


End file.
